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November 7, 2022 | Porthos x Désmoda – Self-defence class

 'JESUS THIS WAS ACTUALLY STUPID!!! Soooo stupid! And did I mention stupid?' Standing there leaning up against the stack of mats that had been put up from the kids class earlier Porthos looked bored enough he could have fainted just for something to do. Actually he'd just made that exact comment not twenty seconds before which had several looking at him with an expression of pure annoyance. Of he didn't want to be here why was he still standing there? The only reason he hadn't walked out was the fact he was actually getting amusement from the rest of the classes reactions. There were the two moms who had probably NEVER taken any kind of martial arts class in their entire life and then there was the old man who he swore might actually throw his back out if he tried to do any of the boring ass basics this guy was teaching. For being so talked up what an actual disappointment! Well other than for pure comedy and perhaps more entertaining than the paper work he could have been stuck dealing with at work. SO! Why not right? Purposely drive these people crazy twice a week for a few months and probably never come back. He could have taught a class better than this joke!!?

"Now what you're going to want to do is then come up behind them and…." The instructor was mid saying as he used one of the other guys as an example.

"And more aggressively choke them than you would a hooker!" Porthos mused out loud. He heard at least one snigger but had yet to pin point it over the sounds of the Karen's gasping way to dramatically. The instructor of course merely cast him a look of annoyance before continuing for a moment. Then stepping away he seemed to shoot Porthos a look.

"Alright big guy! If you're so keen why don't you come demonstrate how it's done in full swing for us? Now we need another volunteer for him to swing around!? Anyone?" The instructor mused clearly trying to keep an unphased expression even as Porthos snickered and moved to push from the mats finally. Moving to saunter up. Now a few more were snickering and it was probably the fact that as the male came forward it was like he made the small older Chinese man shrink into more of a midget right in front of them.

"Scared I'll hurt you? Promise I'll be gentle" Porthos mused still snickering. Ok maybe he should not have gone that far if the instructor decided to make him the demonstration next he'd definitely deserve it. Oh WELL!

Yeah that comment got him something muttered in Mandarin before the trainer motioned for his opponent to come up. Damn, and here he'd been hoping to flip this guy onto the ground!

 

This class was a joke, but at least it was something to do other than sitting round eating bonbons, and Désmoda liked to stay active to a degree. She enjoyed shooting fish in a barrel, but even so, she'd chosen to take this class on a new moon, when her strength was on par with an average human with her training and muscle mass. There was one person here who seemed like he might even be the slightest challenge, and she'd been sneaking looks at him every so often to see what he was about. It wasn't hard to find excuses to look at him. He was mouthy. She tried to keep a straight face as he made comments, but had let out a few stifled snickers, which she tried to disguise as scoffs of disdain, with varying degrees of success. With her curly blond hair pulled back and pinned into a proper bun, wearing a tight-fitting black tank top and legging set with a gold belly dancer's sash round her waist because she didn't believe in leggings without skirts, she probably looked preppy as hell.

When the mouthy man was asked to demonstrate, Désmoda hung back and watched. She wanted to see what this guy had got before she went volunteering to fight him, play fight or no. However, hearing the teacher curse in Mandarin, she couldn't help answering, also in Mandarin, "I will volunteer." She moved up and bowed to Porthos, a bit sarcastically.

 

"And I was really looking forward to throwing the fucking teacher" Porthos mused with a laugh glancing over just long enough to note how angry the small man was getting. Yeah ok after this he probably did need to tone it down just a notch. Perhaps... Would he? Highly unlikely by much.

"You sure, I really don't wanna hurt you" He added this time alot more quiet to the female as she neared. A bit of a smirk on his face highly indicating he was indeed not concerned but completely talking shit.

 

Désmoda raised her eyebrows at Porthos, though the look on her face could easily be interpreted as her only being able to speak Chinese.

Nymals like her had special abilities that waxed and waned with the moon. Today, the very day of the new moon, was the closest to a fair fight Porthos would ever get out of her. She had a soft, curvy hourglass figure; the only indication that she was maybe denser than she looked at first glance was the fact that she was also a shade larger than average. Even with a regular human's strength, she wouldn't fall unless she wanted to and she could use a larger opponent's strength against him. Even with a regular human's speed, she was clever and light on her feet. She might not put Porthos on his ass-- today, anyway-- but she also wouldn't be as easy a win as he'd assume.

 

Well ok then. She was wither quiet or, for some reason in France but not bothering to speak either common languages? Her glance at him merely earned her a bit of another smirk before he was casting the instructor a rather bored expression. For starts he had to let her get him from behind and show the class... How to go about getting her off in at least three different moves. Easy enough! If he didn't decide to purposely fuck around just because why not?

Moving back so he was on the large mat the instructor had out he sort of whistled quite purposely acting bored. Shit even yawned as the female moved to get in position behind him. "How is this logical tho? She's like.... A midget? Should have called this how to throw a midget class" He added suddenly when it took the female a moment to get ready.

Another thing that actually earned a few laughs and glares in equal proportion before the instructor went telling Des to go ahead in Mandarin. Now if they would start speaking french or English that would be GREAT!!!

 

Dés nodded to the instructor, a smirk on her face, then got behind Porthos, deliberately pressing up against him far more than necessary as she wrapped her arm round his throat in a choke hold. She kept her stance wide and applied just enough pressure to straddle the line between kinky and painful.

 

Woah oh fucking KAY! Porthos's eyes actually shot open a bit wide for the briefest of moments as he hadn't expected her to actually TRY! Well in that case he took a moment to catch his footing better, not exactly a comfortable position to say the least but rather suddenly he'd gone body twist out of it and shoving her back. The easiest one first chuckling a bit as a response he winked at her then mockingly half bowed at the others who at least seemed mostly entertained by this point.

"Again!" The instructor mused gesturing almost dismissively.

Moving to crack his neck Porthos turned again "At least make this one challenging will you? That was almost to easy" He remarked at Des as she'd again came up behind him before snickering. Ok yeah he was on one at this point.

 

This time, when he went to twist out of it, she moved with him, somewhere between consensually restraining a lover and keeping hold of a hostage. The latter of which she'd had a little more experience with than the former.

"Are you not entertained?" she whispered in his ear, in Hungarian-accented French.

 

Well she was definitely making this not so easy. Figures. Briefly snickering a bit breathlessly for a moment he paused then with a rather quick movement jabbing back at her with an elbow a bit hard, his hand soon gripping her arm and then. Well he was soon hoisting and flipping her, sending her landing on her back on the mat. Smirking down at her he definitely looked amused. "Now I'm bored again" He added with a teasing smirk. Yeah no by now he actually wouldn't have minded really sparing with her. Clearly she was good and that was saying something but.... Who was going to tell her that? Porthos was simply to proud.

 

"Careful," she warned him, "or I'll be wanting to do things to you that are inappropriate in this sort of class." She laughed up at him from the flat of her back, then swept her leg under his and had him tumbling down right next to her.

 

He'd merely been snickering at her response and glancing back to the teacher about to mock bow again when the female went and did that. Hitting the matt hard he just sort of laid there stunned for a moment before he busted up laughing. Yeah even despite the giggling from some of the class even he had to admit she'd got him. "Ok noted, your pretty good... At least someone here is" He remarked moving to sit up sort of smirking as he saw the instructor looking impatient.

"You two partners! Everyone else get your own matts!!" The instructor added finally gesturing for the stack.

 

"Touché," Désmoda answered with a smirk of her own. "Interesting that they put us together rather than having us teach the new kids... not that I complain, mind you. I like you. It's a rare man who can take me by surprise."

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