After using her ability to command demons, Serena was unable to use her healing ability on herself or others. Continuous use of Demon Command also took a heavy toll on her body, and after only a few days back in Adornia, she was shaking after training.
It took serious effort for her to walk back to her room and draw her bath. She knelt by the porcelain tub, pale and panting, shivering with the effort it had taken for her to merely put in the plug, turn the tap, and add her bath salts and bubbles. (She always had to have bubbles these days, thick and foamy and fully opaque.) Her hair had started losing its colour, going from soft sandy blonde to an almost greyish shade; her eyes, too, were turning grey from their usual teal.
๐ ๐ธ๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฆ, she thought firmly to herself. ๐๐ฐ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ข๐บ. ๐ ๐ด๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ๐ด ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฅ๐ฐ.
That thought alone gave her strength. Or at least, the shaking slowed and she could breathe properly. She thought about calling Lachlan to help her, but he was with his feeders. It was best not to bother him.
Being with his feeders as he was, Lachlan had a keen sense, uncanny for when his roommate seemed to be in trouble. He would pull back when Hank, one of his special favourites, was "close", earning a groan and accusation of being a tease.
"Sorry love, I'll be back," Lachlan promised. Wasting no time in speed-dashing back to his room.
Entering the bathroom, with a light knock, "What is it, lassie? What's wrong?" Before he saw her, almost keeled over on the edge of the tub. Testing the water, "This is too hot for ye in yer state," and turned the knob to cool it. He helped her undress and gently set her in the tub-- "Wait," then took of his own clothes and climbed in behind her to hold her steady. "Can't have ye drowning now, can we?"
"I like hot water," Serena protested. "It feels like a hug." She also fussed about Lachlan stripping her, which was irrational as she knew Lachlan had seen, and didn't care about, her real body. But she couldn't very well keep complaining when Lachlan got in with her and actually did hug her. She relaxed into his embrace.
"Okay, this is nice," she admitted. Then she looked back at him. "Why are you so nice to me? I've constantly been a bitch to you."
"Eh, I could give the cheesy answer or the cheesier one. Ye remind me of someone I knew. She loved me brother, and because of him, she lays sleeping, forever unchanged. He wanted only her money and her lands. When he discovered she loved him true, that she would not quietly resign herself to public attention and private neglect, he put a curse on her. It's told that her soul left her body that day. She may have already been incarnated but I cannot help but wonder. Wonder and hope." His head slowly shook from side to side. "Ehm... since Seraphina, I've seen only men. It's better that way, less complicated. I can love them freely without wondering if I'm dishonouring the memory of Sera. Romain doesn't know. You cannae tell him. He'd have me head. Because Romain cannae know, nor does Saydee, bless her, I know the poor girl loves me. I've tried to give her away to a vampire who'd be for her what she deserves." His eyes prickled and blurred and his voice began to crack. "She won't leave me side, and I hate meself not being able to love her back. If ye've wondered why she's so jealous of ye...." Pulling Serena closer without thinking about it.
Serena didn't know what to say. That was truly tragic and any words she could think of would sound trite. She'd always felt a little sorry for Saydee but now, given context, she knew where the girl was coming from; she also knew where Lachlan was coming from. There was no easy resolution to any of this, and she certainly wasn't like Trent; she wasn't about to just grin and pretend everything would be okay.
Fucking Trent.
She allowed herself to nestle in closer to Lachlan; there were worse things, she reckoned, than being his personal teddy bear. "I have nothing to gain by telling Romain this," she said casually, pretending at guile. She would ask why he showed her affection in front of Saydee if Saydee was going to be jealous over it, but if Serena really reminded Lachlan that much of Seraphina-- gosh, even their names sounded alike-- then... he really couldn't help it, could he? After a moment, she added, "And even if I did, I wouldn't betray you. You've been nothing but kind to me, even though, by your own admission, I've done absolutely nothing to deserve it." She couldn't help it, after all, that she happened to remind him of his lost love.
For the barest split second Lachlan regretted bearing his sole to Serena as she seemed to take it lightly. So relieved was he when she seemed to take it more seriously after a moment.
"Ye need do nothin' to deserve kindness," he said in bewildered words. "Ye didn't deserve the unkindness ye've been given, the emotional abuse, the neglect, the--" Choking up, he could not go on. Blinking tears from his eyes.
"Romain wishes ye be powerful," he warned her. It felt only right. "Ye... yer fuelled by unhappy thoughts. Yer demonic power. Aren't ye? Romain will want ye to tap into that. He'll encourage those painful feelings. When ye give in, ye'll be the strength he wants.
"Yet afterwards, when ye come down, when ye wake up from passin' out on the field again, ye must remember there's another side to ye then all that. Yer not yer pain, remember that. I' can try me best to catch ye when ye faint, to bring ye to safety, but I may not always be able. There will come a day when ye need to remember for yerself, what yer worth besides what others expect of ye."
As he finished speaking a knock sounded at the door. Then a familiar girl made her presence known.
"Romain is on his way," Saydee said. "He wants to know why Serena's beginning to falter after training." She avoided looking at them in the tub together. She had improved in her mature reactions to the two of them but she still resented Serena for being what she couldn't.
Serena glowered at him, pulling away for a moment. "What am I worth besides what others expect of me? Hmm?" she challenged him. "Everybody I have ever loved has passed me over for someone else or gone on long trips where they seem to have forgotten I exist at all! Oh yes, I could 'just go where the love is,' it sounds so fucking simple, doesn't it? But unfortunately, my heart doesn't work that--"
She stopped abruptly when she heard Saydee speak.
"I'm acclimatizing," she said. "The atmosphere here is... different than where I'm from. Sometimes that makes it harder. I'll adjust."
Romain had been at Saydee's heels. He was disappointed to hear what his High General had to say. Had been hoping duty and purpose would be more important than the illusion of mere Love. He did not make his presence known as yet, wanting to hear what else she had to say. Silently dismissed Saydee warning her to be silent as well.
"Ye'll adjust," Lachlan repeated softly. "At what cost? I don't want ye to ๏ฝill ๏ฝerself out there, yer worth too damned much to me, and what have I expected of ye, hm? Ye think I brought ye here just for the King's benefit? Ever stop to think I wanted ye here?" Lachlan knew it was unwise, could even sense Romain's presence nearby but maybe he needed to hear this to. "Yer worth more then you've been GIVEN by the ungrateful sods surroundin ye, back at that overpopulated neon cesspool ye called home."
Romain chuckled softly to himself before stepping around the doorway. "Yes, do try to stay alive," he said pleasantly. "If not for my sake then for Lachlan's. If my General is going to distract my Captain so, I'd prefer to benefit from it." Taking no care for either of their modesty as he helped himself on a lounge chair by the bath. "How long do you think you'll need to acclimatize?"
Something in Serena softened as Lachlan spoke, sweet, beautiful words she'd been aching to hear for... she didn't know how long. Lachlan had wanted her here, for himself. He valued her company. He'd told her as much, but it had never quite sunk in. She laughed wildly, wiping away the tears that sprang to her eyes. "You think Los Angeles is an overpopulated neon cesspit?" she repeated, with a tender smile to show she'd heard the rest of what he'd said.
She looked up in surprise when Romain spoke. In his own way, he, too, was saying... he also valued her. "I'm sorry," she said, bowing her head. "I won't disappoint you again. Lucifer will help me remain steady. I hope to acclimatize soon." She would have gotten up and hugged him if she wasn't self-conscious about her body.
"Most big cities like that are," Lachlan said, disdainful. "Devoid of any true art or culture. Hollywood is lifeless, ye must admit it." He smiled tenderly back at her.
Appreciative of her obedience, Romain favoured Serena with a real, genuine smile. "Lucifer will help you," he echoed in finalizing agreement. "I shall touch base with him while you complete you bathing ritual." He almost said ablution, but ablution was for gods and angels, like Lucifer.
Serena felt herself relax as Romain left. She was fond of her king, but having anyone other than Lachlan or Lucifer watch her bathe was... harrowing.
"I—I will get better," she promised, looking up at Lachlan with pleading eyes.
"I know ye will, love," Lachlan said. "Yer a good girl. Ye always do yer best. We'll give ye the time ye need, don't ye fuss yerself." Though Lachlan was secretly relieved Lucifer was also there.
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