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July 8, 2022 | Serena's diary

  "It's okay to feel hurt and upset, but don't hurt yourself or others" is such a line of bullshit. Why should I not hurt others if I'm being hurt? What difference does it make if I'm hurting myself or someone else is doing it for me? And, most importantly, why should anyone's feelings matter more to my loved ones than mine?

I poured out my heart to Xander and it feels like he'd rather do anything but see me. I hate feeling neglected like this and I can't just turn it off.

Maybe Luci and I should go away together somewhere. If They're not around, it means I get him all to myself again. He's really good to me.

Yeah. If Xander has better things to do than go out with me or even talk to me, why should I wait around for him? Luci and I are overdue for that rafting trip, anyway. We can plan another trip for the group, since I know Nathaniel and George want to come, and maybe Syria, Blaine, and Maze as well. And then tomorrow, Luci and I can go bumper car racing and dancing.

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