A/N: I totally forgot this entry existed (transcribing in June). Also, I got super confused (because I was hearing about Allya's interactions with the club secondhand through Ni rather than being able to read them myself), so I thought Allya and Dany were a thing, but nope! Apparently Dany was Darius's boyfriend. Since this entry is divergent ANYWAY, I'm just going to keep it as is, since it's more meant to reflect Serena's state of mind rather than be fully... accurate... or whatever... I guess XD
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I'm so delighted! My Xandy can't get enough of me on our date nights ♥ He went from reluctant a few months ago, to positively voracious now, and I love being there to satisfy all his appetites! Luci is happy for us, too. The three of us, with me in Xander's lap and Luci under my skirt... it's paradise!
It's strange: even without Trent, I don't feel so lonely anymore. I don't really talk to him, except as his lawyer. I hate his wife and my biker's brother hates him. I still can't believe he threatened Erik like that. If he cared so much about my feelings, he wouldn't have married that stupid bitch.
I'm actually amazed Allya doesn't hate him, what with him threatening one of her precious boyfriends. She certainly doesn't like Sigefrid and me sleeping with her third (ha!). Well, since she sleeps sandwiched between Erik and Dagfinn, there's no room for Dany there anyway, and it turns out I'm good at dispelling night terrors. I don't know which she likes less: my healing abilities keeping Dany mellow when I'm around, or Sigefrid keeping him warm when I'm with Luci and Xan.
I have at least been nice enough to let her in the kitchen once in a while. Okay, maybe more than that. The club has a big appetite, and I guess four hands are better than two. It's funny, though. Erik doesn't really like having food shoved in his face. He gets mad at her for demanding he eat. I wish he'd eat more, too, mostly because Sigefrid will eat his portion if he doesn't, which I don't want him to do when Allya's cooking.
No, of course he doesn't-- Sigefrid doesn't like her like that, but I don't want him to start. It's bad enough he and Bloodhair (I hate him) couldn't keep their eyes off Maze when she came by to give me a blood draw kit for-- I'll explain later. Anyway, Allya's competitive with me, but I'm also competitive with her. With any pretty girl, and some plain ones, too. I don't have the right body; letting me have healing and cooking duties is the least she could do.
My body. The blood draw kit.
Xandy not being able to get enough of me is recent, as you know. A couple months ago, he made me feel the worst I've ever felt about my body. Then he left. Then he came back and we made up. Well, some time later, one night after he'd fed, I wanted him to make love to me. He did-- he went through the motions, I mean. He entered, got me off, but he... he stopped immediately after I finished. He didn't enjoy it. I was so distraught, and Luci was furious. He forbade Maze from going anywhere near our vampire and made him live off pig's blood for a week. If he was good, he got a thimble of mine, and that's what the draw kit was for. That, and to store some extra in case I wasn't available later.
Anyway, I don't know if it was the pig's blood or just missing me in general, but when Luci allowed Xander to see me again, we had an amazing time. Now he feeds while making love to me. It's a good thing he changed his mind, too. Sigefrid was about ready to stake him when Luci explained why I started crying when he tried to go under my skirt. The only time I don't let Sigefrid touch my body is when I'm insecure about it.
Sigefrid is such a good man. He made Xander understand that making love to me is a privilege, and if he really loved me, he should see me as a girl. I was surprised, considering how Sigefrid was when we met. But then, he hates having anything denied to him for any reason, so he wants me to accept my body for him. He wants me so much he was willing to kill someone for making parts of me inaccessible to him. He was furious when I stopped him, but I couldn't help it. I may live for the MC, but I was born to feed Xander. Making him drink animal blood for a week was agonizing enough. If I couldn't feed him ever again, I'd be too devastated to help Sigefrid or the club or maybe even live.
Xander once called me his heroin. For Sigefrid, I'm even more than that. I'm useful, even irreplaceable. But I was still born to feed Xander, so no Xander = no will to live = no ability to help Sigefrid. So I love Sigefrid too much to let him kill my vampire.
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