I believe I am now well enough to be by Sigefrid's side without being distracted worrying about Xander's and my relationship. Sigefrid is asleep. A drugged-out stupor, I've heard. I can relate. So, I will stay by his side and quietly entertain myself (not a euphemism) until he feels well, or until my vampire has need of me.
Luci and I do make a pretty good match. We're both kinky and hate children. We're also both flighty and prone to boredom. That's something I could have done without us having in common. He insists he won't get bored of me, but how can I believe that of anyone? What if he comes to resent the contract that binds us together? He's told me so many times that it won't happen, and he doesn't lie... and yet... how can I trust anything anyone says? It's a wonder he hasn't lost patience with me. Duckie, too. We're sort of back together.
Sigefrid is so nice to cuddle with. He's solid and warm and holds me so close in his sleep. I keep him company and ease his pain the best I can. I'd like to be indispensable to him, as unrealistic as that is, but more than that, I want him to know he is cared for, beyond just being fetishized for that wonderful blade of his, beyond being good in bed (which he certainly is). It may be foolish of me to think but part of me wonders if he might perhaps need me more than Xander does? Perhaps even more than Xander eve did? There will always be other donors-- why else did he hesitate to feed from me?-- but although Sigefrid would never admit it, he and I seem to be well-matched in other ways.
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