What people tend to misunderstand is that it's not about the drugs. On their own, drugs are not that thrilling. It's about the pain. I'm a high-enough-functioning addict, but I don't need to get high to function. I just use to take away the pain. I'll stay perfectly clean as long as there's someone there to hold me tight, but the second he wants to let go, I'm back on whatever I can reach. I don't care about being high. I just don't want to be lonely.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : ๐๐๐๐ - ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ “ENOUGH!” The acoustics aren’t great, but my voice manages to reverberate. I grab your throat and slam you against the wall. That echoes, too. “I have had it up to HERE with your fucking GAMES, CASTIEL!” It comes out as a bellow of rage and despair ripping its way from my chest through my throat, passing through my lips, feral and guttural. You see my eyes flash with pain-fueled fury in the dim lighting. You glare back at me, your hands prying at my wrist. I squeeze your throat and press you harder against the wall. Your eyes are beginning to water and it makes me… Not ๐ข๐ฏ๐จ๐ณ๐บ . More frustrated. More desperate. ๐๐ฉ๐บ ๐ช๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ซ๐ฐ๐บ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ช๐ด๐ฐ๐ฏ ? I silently beg of you not to make this about ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ pain. I will more than happily balm your wounds and soothe your ego, once I’m sure you ๐จ๐ฆ๐ต ๐ช๐ต . My voice is s...
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